Thursday, December 26, 2019

Stylist Talk | Things you don't say at a family holiday dinner...

Lets talk body image today ladies and gentleman.  The Christmas holiday has come and gone, now on the New Years Eve & New Years Resolutions.  Its no secret that I have been on a wholeness journey both physically, emotionally and spiritually over the last 1-2 years.  My journey started with addressing things from my childhood that have always laid dormant in the back of my mind and was never discussed.  With going through counseling, stress therapy, acupuncture, seeing a Nutritionist I have transformed into a new woman.  There are things that are still a work in progress (like my anxiety) but look out 2020!

Now lets talk about the always dreadful holiday family dinner conversations.  Typically for me its always the "When are you going to get married and/or have children" conversation.  Or "Girl, you not getting any younger, what's the hold up"?  OR "You can't work all the time"  (Well are any of y'all paying my bills?)
 Well yesterday for Christmas dinner, as soon as I walked in the house it was "OMG, are you getting smaller from the last time I saw you"?,  Or, "where is your butt & hips"?  It was awkward for me at first because I know I have lost weight, but I am still overweight for my ideal body size.  At my highest weight as of 2018 I ranged between 222-225 pounds, which I was very uncomfortable and had a very busy work schedule of traveling 3-4 days a week.  I didn't eat the healthiest because I was on the road, it comes with the territory of being a traveling manager at times.
Here at 220 in 2016, and not healthy but pleasantly plump...those boyfriend jeans were a size 16W!

I think what I realized yesterday is that especially in the African American community its almost expected to have curves,  When in all actuality I've never had curves, I was just thick/fat, without a butt or hips.  I am a true Apple Shape body type.
The popular phrase is BBW:  "Big Beautiful Woman" is a euphemism for an overweight woman. The terms "Big Beautiful Women" and "BBW" were coined by Carole Shaw in 1979, when she launched BBW Magazine, a fashion and lifestyle magazine for "plus-size" women. Wikipedia

For me and my bodytype, I was a BBW just without the hips and butt, however my former size camouflaged that, I was mostly just "thick".  My classic style has always been blouses and wide leg slacks which also hid the fact that I was an apple shape.  I do understand how to dress for my body and for me that has always been the key. I have never been a woman that wears anything skin tight unless I am around the house or putting on some leggings to run errands, but its always with an over sized menswear top or sweatshirt. Just my style.  

2017/2018: starting to lean out with proper diet,  but still a true Apple shape of being larger at the top & mid section. Those pants were a size 14W, but a wide leg.

 Clients Christmas holiday Retro Celebrity Inspired party: December 2017

I say all of this to say, be careful with your words because they sting, especially with the journey I have been on.  Some of my weight loss was due to stress but the other factor after I noticed the weight loss was meeting with a Nutritionist.  She was my guide to get me in the right direction for healthy eating & lifestyle.     
Also during this time, I was on my Invisalign journey which caused me to watch what I ate for 18 months. It was explained during my Invisalign consultation that my teeth are going to shift which may cause my facial shape to shift.   I had to wear my teeth straightening trays for 23 out of 24 hours a day.   So that meant if I went out to a steak restaurant I chose salmon salads over a steak.  It was less of a headache to be in the restaurant restroom brushing & flossing.  Trust me I have gotten some crazy looks being at a client lunch meeting, & women watching me brush & floss.  I got use to it however. LOL 

So here I am in 2019, a size 14 (without the W), healthier and happy and not as stressed and creating the life that I desire...